It was a long, hot summer day, the kind of day where you are almost grateful you are in an air-conditioned office building. It was Tuesday, but might as well have been Monday, and Monday might as well have been New Years Day, I was in such a daze from partying and breaking up with my no good, musician boyfriend for the last time that weekend. I was sticky and tired, but my snapdragon was on fire from the heat and lack of stimulation. I could feel it throbbing beneath my jeans and kept fidgeting in my big leather office chair so that I wasn't pushing on it.
I needed a good workout and a good scrub. My hair was dirty and I was in dire need of a facial. I stopped at home to change into my workout clothes and thought about who I could call for a fuck. My boss mentioned something to me about this guy I used to date, let's call him.... Adam. Adam was a rep for this contractor that we did some subcontracting for 4 or 5 months ago.
"What happened with you and Adam? His boss was asking me if you guys were still seeing each other." My boss loves to know the dirt on everyone, mostly because her marriage and family life is so pathetically boring, but also because she is undersexed and secretly a lesbian. But that is another story. I just shrugged it off and said, "Well I got what I wanted from him!" We laughed and I didn't feel like talking to her anymore about it. She wasn't being very nice lately, making me WORK, and she kept checking up on me when I was trying to read my e-mails. I was sure that if she had mentioned it, he was probably in town that day asking around about me.
I thought about all the great dates we had. Always having flowers for me. Long luscious dinners at every 4 star restaurant within 100 miles that I could think of. Choosing bottles of champagne by closing my eyes and pointing. Hilarious conversations, never a dull moment or awkward silences, no silences at all really. His complete and unwavering attention. Dinner was always followed by desert, aperitifs, and then dancing and more drinks.
Adam was above average looking, but it was his blue eyes that really did it for me. I am talking blue. I can't really explain the color, but puddles of mirrors would be pretty accurate. He lives down in San Diego, new condo next to La Costa, and drives a red convertible BMW with the license plat TRITHLT. Not a new one, nearly classic, but he isn't one to throw money away frivolously, unless it is on me. His body fit his license plate and he is always wearing blue shirts to bring out his eyes. He knows a little about alot, and is always reading those books about how to get rich, Tony Robbins shit and all. He is only 28 so he doesn't have all those jackass bachelor issues ("I'm in my late thirties and still think I'm 22").
When I first met him, he came into my building with one of our customers to take my boss to lunch. Now, I work in computers and rarely do we get any talent walking through those doors. From my desk I have a perfect view of the door if I peek to the left around my 19 inch monitor or sit up straight all the way and look over. I love having the big monitor, cause then I can duck back down and make sure I have lipgloss on or take the pencil out of my hair and shake it loose. All I saw was his piercing blue eyes as we made contact for a few seconds at a time. My boss rushed out of her office and they took off right away, me going "Um, was that for me? Bitch didn't even introduce me!" When they came back I found out I was going to be working on a project with him and did a really good job of containing my excitement. As he explained his company, I nodded nonchalantly and didn't smile too much for fear I would get all giddy.
After he left, I look into my compact, and there is a big green piece of basil in between my two front teeth from the pizza I had for lunch. "Damn!", I was thinking, "That pizza had freaking onions on it, too!" So much for playing it cool. I run to my bosses office and begin to thank her profusely, ad she casually says, "Oh, yeah, he asked about you, asked if you had a boyfriend, he said he's going to call you for dinner." I hadn't had a real live date in, oh, close to a year, and my ex-boyfriend's idea of class was detention, so all I could think was, Color Me Stoked. We e-mailed back and forth on work issues, but still he wasn't pickin' up what I was throwing down. I decided to get a little more forward. We were talking (e-mailing) about the abundance of acronyms the government used in these contracts, he says, "Oh yeah it has taken me years to get to know them, there are two dictionaries full." And I coyly write back (as if coyness can be expressed in type), "Well, maybe you can quiz me sometime?"
So that was that, we slept together (literally, cuddling) the first night and it felt incredible, his big strong arms around me. He slept with a pillow inbetween his legs cause he knew he would be imagining things later. I wanted to feel it closer, but knew there would be other times. He came up about 3 times a month, staying one or two days, and I always stayed at his suite, it had an incredible jacuzzi, ocean view, a cozy bar, and my favorite part, a buffet breakfast. Plus, it had 2 bathrooms (why he needed 2 bathrooms I don't know), but I claimed it as mine, so I didn't have to drag myself home before work.
He was perfectly content to suck on my snapdragon for hours at a time, like a buzzing little bee, and even after it snapped closed on him, he buzzed around waiting for it to open again. After 3 or 4 orgasms I was content and languid, he didn't even want me to return the favor, just liked to prop up on his elbow and watch me sigh. So we went on like this for months, I don't know what happened, but we eventually stopped talking. I was annoyed that his company hadn't paid this large account I had been working on. Then my ex, the rock star, was in town after being on tour for 4 months, and I am always a sucker for a smart mouth and a big dick, so I just stopped calling Adam. And he didn't call either, so I was just like, "Well screw you then."
When I got to the gym in the afternoon I focused myself on my workout, I started on the elliptical, punched in 45 minutes, kept in time to the Pete Yorn on my cd player, and planned to outpace the girl next to me who was 5 minutes ahead. I kept looking sideways at her machine and knew I'd probably pass her within 20 minutes. I could tell she was going WTF? and I smiled to myself and shook my ponytail side to side rotating my waist and going crazy on the trainer. Upped the resistance to 7, and tried to get my calories per minute up to 12. I didn't care that all the fat ladies in the row of treadmills behind me were eyeballing me, I could see their reflections in the tv's above me. I go to an all women's gym, mostly so I don't have to deal with the muscleheads, but also because it's a spa, it's chic, and most all the ladies are old and fat. Makes me feel better. Made me smile even more. The girl next to me gave up after 30 minutes, and I winded down in perfect timing with Pete.
My ass needed a good workout, so I went through all the lower body machines for the next 30 minutes, 2 sets of 15, grunting hard on the last 5. I was so looking forward to that new sauna they just put in. The gym was thinning out too, so I knew I would have it all to myself. Which was good, I didn't want to deal with all the old cows in there anyway. They would probably get all uncomfortable with my naked bod, and I'd have to keep my legs closed the whole time. I did a couple sets of pull ups, then spent the last 20 minutes on my abs. For my last 2 sets, I hung upside down from the stretch station with my feet in the velcro stirrups and I loved how it felt. The blood rushing from my center to my head. Up and down, up and down. My feet in bondage but my arms hanging free, my shirt up, exposing my belly. I hung there for a sec, didn't think I could do one more, but managed to swing myself up and undo one leg, then the other. I stumbled a bit, could feel my face blushing, and tried to avoid the looks of the curious herd.
I had the locker room all to myself. I slowly peeled off my sweaty layers until I was completely naked, someone came in but I didn't cover up. I was feeling strong and tight and wanted everyone to have the pleasure of enjoying it. I made my way to the showers, no one was there, and I was happy to get the one steam shower. It was huge, had smoked glass windows, and a seating area. I stood under the hot jets, turning it up as hot as I could stand it, and let the water beat down upon my head. I lathered up my hair with the lavender shampoo, inhaling deeply and spreading the foamy lather all over my trembling muscles. The scent was invigorating and combined with all the steam. I was beginning to let all of the tension of the past few days, past few months, wash down the drain. I rinsed myself with the shower head in my hand adjusting the jets to massage my head. I moved it down my belly in between my legs and looked through the glass to make sure noone could see me. Even if they could, it was so steamy in there, they wouldn't see much. I tuned it to the perfect hardness and massaged my swollen clit, instantly my legs buckled, the combination of the workout and finally getting some attention down there was a bit much. I sat on the cushioned seat and stretched my legs onto the handicapped bar across from me. I flicked the head back and forth. I was getting so hot my ass was rising off the seat and I was holding my self up with one hand. When I got right to that point I stopped, let it subdue a little, then brought it right back up. When I came I let out a whimper biting my lip and wanting to cry out. I turned the water to cold and brought all my tingling pores back to Earth, thinking I might faint if I got any hotter.
I wrapped my towel around me. No one there. I turned on the sauna to let it heat up and covered my hair in tangerine deep conditioner. I got in, placing my towel on the seat, sitting away from the door so I could spread my legs a little. It felt so nice, the new cedar from the sauna mixing with the tangerine, and remnants of the lavender. I was in ecstasy. Feeling the hot, dry air on my naked body and sweating out all of the deep down impurities, the alcohol, the drugs, the emotions, I felt renewed. Limp and languid. When I thought I would fall asleep, I jumped into the shower for a quick cool rinse then stood in front of the mirrors as I dried off and rubbed my body with the lavender oil Simone got for me in France. I checked my rear view and noticed my ass seemed a bit perkier. Good. I pulled on my cotton polo, drawstring pants, no panties, and my sandals, and then wrapped my half dry hair into a twist, wiping my hands of the rest of the oil.
When I came out of the lockers, the gym was completely empty. I walked out into the warm night air without getting a goodbye from the deskgirl, smiling a bit. The idea of sex was even more appealing now than before, now that my muscles were untensed, I was all cleaned up and smelling incredible and the moisture between my legs was so inviting it begged for a Lik-a-Stick. I called up Adam, not really thinking what I was going to say. He answered on the second ring, in the car somewhere, as far as I could tell. I said, "Hi, it's Meesh. I was just thinking of you. Actually, I was just thinking of sex, and then I thought of you, but well.. hello."
We began to debate about why we lost touch, but that wasn't why I called, and so I said, "Well I am calling you now." I asked where he was and he was just finishing dinner with this guy Jack, at one of the restaurants we used to go to. I was jealous. and hungry. They were going to a mexican restaurant for margaritas and he wanted me to meet them there. I made a few excuses, playing with him a bit, but finally said I'd be there in 15 to 20.
I park on the side of the building, and it is practically empty in the place. I spot his blue eyes immediately, and look away so he doesn't sense how much I want to grab his hips and pull them into me. He has a margarita waiting for me, just the way I like it, Hornitos with a floater of Grand Marnier, on the rocks, with salt. He also has half a dozen beige and plum roses, which I am very curious to know how he managed to do at 10 o'clock at night. He is so suave, I wouldn't be surprised if he carried them around all the time, just in case.
He motions to the chair next to him, which he has practically wrapped his legs around already. We kiss hello, and I had forgotten how incredibly soft and plump his lips were. We make small talk, and I flirt with his friend, just to remind him of how charming and desirable I am. Jack is pretty pissed (drunk) and I ask him if he wants me to call him a cab (hint, hint). He says he is ok to drive and Adam and I plan to head somewhere with less sticky tables and dimmer lights. I say to him, "Should I follow you?" Knowing damn well that he is driving me back to his hotel in that convertible of his tonight. He says, "No, I'll drop you back here." Yeah, right.
The other bar is crowded yet intimate. There is one table outside by the fire, perfect, so I can smoke. I order us two apple martinis and four Caramel Apple shots. He proceeds to tell me why he hasn't called. I switched phones and phone numbers a couple months ago, and he had been calling the old one leaving scintillating phone messages and getting no response. I don't believe him, so he shows me his phone. My old number is there, next to my name, and I press call. A young female with a sexy voice answers and I ask her if anyone has called asking for Meesh. She says, "Uh, yeah, some guy with a hot voice talking about how he wanted to taste my juices and have them run down his chin. I almost called him back!" "Thanks", I say and flip his phone closed. The visual flashes into my head, and I throw my head back laughing. The waitress comes over and I order another round, telling her to get one for herself too. I don't even want the drink, I want to leave right now, hop up on the back of his car, spread my legs and bury his head between them. We are flirting like mad, kissing, but not indecently. I pound my drink and the shots, and tell him to close out, I'll be right back. He is a bit disbelieving, good, I like it when they are surprised.
He is driving fast and I am massaging the bulge in his pants, not too much, he is drunk and I actually want to make it there so we can get to the main event. His suite is directly across from the sand and we go up the back way, entering through the patio. It is unlocked. Good, because he's lost the key. It is hot in the room. I leave the sliding door opened and take off my shirt trying to cool off. He comes up behind me and rubs my chest, then my hips and reaches down to my thighs, pulling me close. I am looking at our reflection in the mirror across from me. He tells me how good I look, how good I smell, and pulls the knot out of my hair. Still damp, it fills the room with tangerine. I turn to face him, unbutton his shirt, and begin to kiss my way down to his waist. I unbutton his jeans. He isn't wearing anything underneath. His hands are lost in my hair as I lift his tip with mine, circling it with my tongue and slip it into the wetness of my mouth. I suck on the first couple inches, and tickle the hood with my tongue, but my dragon is aching and he knows it. He lifts me up, throws me over his shoulder and carries me into the next room, throwing me on the bed so my ass is right on the edge. He pulls off my pants and heads for my dripping wetness. I arch my back to meet him and grab his head hard and press it down onto my clit. Everything is blurring in front of my eyes, I think I am going to come right away, but I don't. My body has been waiting so long and it wants to savor it, pacing itself for an earth shattering orgasm.
I let him suck on my clit until I feel like I am going to explode, then reach back behind me to grip the sheets. I lift my ass up about a foot, and let his last few licks tantalize and tease. He inserts a finger, then two, rubbing my inner walls, until I shiver, then shake, and grab his fingers into me as I climax, shaking all over like a wet dog. My body goes limp and I sit still for a couple seconds, then roll over onto my stomach, stretching out over the sheets. He rubs the tension out of my ass, and as he nears the dragon, I arch towards him a little, wanting him to stick it in again.
He goes to the bathroom, I lay there contentedly, not wanting to relax too much. He puts on a condom, comes back behind me and stretches out over me. I am so slippery, he could just slide it in, but he doesn't. He lets the tip tickle my clit, until I am rubbing back and forth, trying to slide it in me. He lifts up my ass, still teasing me, and then slowly inserts it inside, inch by inch, until I am pushing against him as hard as I can. He takes it out slowly, me resisting a little, then gently slides it back inside. I am frantic at this point, and he knows it. I want him grab my hips and slam them towards him, but he doesn't quicken his pace. I am clawing at the sheets, begging him to Fuck me harder, until finally he slams into me and I come again, shaking but he is already building up another one. He pulls me up so my feet are on the floor and I am leaning over the edge of the bed. I can tell the angle is making him crazy, and I don't want him to stop, as if he actually could. "Oh God, oh God, Yes! Don't Stop, Harder", I screamed, and the headboard is knocking against the wall, thudthudthud, but we don't care, can't possibly care, knowing we are both so close.
We come together, frozen in our position, until I fall onto the bed, and him right next to me. We look at each other and laugh. He reaches out and strokes my cheek. I smile, staring into his blue eyes. They sparkle back at me and say everything I am feeling. I sigh deeply reaching for his hand. Drifting off, I feel a contentment like never before, in this lavish room, with this strong, athletic man beside me, I open my eyes for a second, make sure I am really here and that it wasn't a dream, and then close them again and fall asleep.
Listening to Butterfly by Weezer, freaking lyrics man, just killin me.
Yesterday I went outside
With my momma's mason jar
Caught a lovely Butterfly
When I woke up today
And looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
But everytime I pin down what I think I want
it slips away - the ghost slips away
I smell you on my hand for days
I can't wash away your scent
if I'm a dog then you're a bitch
I guess you're as real as me
maybe I can live with that
maybe I need fantasy
a life of chasing Butterfly
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
but I ain't never comin' back
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Apparently the lyrics and tune to Britney's new song My Love Was Always There are strikingly similar to Enrique's song Maybe.
The lyrics to Britney's song:
If I had just one wish, I'd go back to the moment we kissed, but no matter how hard I tried, I can't get you outta my mind.
The lyrics to Enrique's
If I had one single wish, I'd go back to the moment we kissed. No matter how I try, I can't live without you in my life.
Uh, yeah, pretty similar. Enrique's people say he's not really mad, just puzzled, and almost a little flattered. One crappy pop star ripping off another crappy pop stars crappy lyrics, what is this world coming to?!
Now that I think about it though, I actually wrote those lyrics, too,
in high school, maybe it was junior high, didn't you????
Mine went: Oh, I only wish,
I could go back to the time we kissed,
Because no matter how hard I try,
I just can't get you out of my mind.
Wow what a great analogy, teehee. Okay. On the ballot in November, could very well be a measure urging the city to take a look at growing medicinal marijuana on city land. That's so sweet, they are just like Screw you Federal Government. I guess the DEA is hot to shut down places like Cannabis Buyers Co-op which provide prescriptions and marijuana to community members. Federal pressure has forced many co-ops into simply helping users learn how to grow their own. The idea is that they don't want sick people buying drugs from street dealers.
"If the federal government insists on standing in our way locally, we must take matters into our own hands and protect the lives of our community members and protect their right to access life-saving medicine," said Leno (supervisor, not Jay). He also says the program could double as an agriculture job training for the city's unemployed (Yeah, now there's an idea). Now that is my kind of freakin city I tell you.
Both Canada and Holland already grow and distribute medical marijuana.
This is likely to be an extremely climactic time for you when it comes to love and romance, dear Libra. Perhaps you are feeling the twinge of inner conflict that happens when you long for freedom and independence, yet sense that your heart requires the security of a close partnership. Make sure you don't make compromises at this time. Be clear and decisive about whatever action you undertake.
Billy Bob really reminds me of my ex-boyfriend Steve. Steve is nearly 40, not quite Billy Bob's age, but he is tatted, and goateed, and his eyes crinkle up the same as Billy Bob's when he smiles. They both have that look like you know they were a really bad kid, but managed to slide by punishment from their mothers and female teachers (spoiled, little, mamas boys). And yes, I think Billy Bob is hot. And ok, I am not exactly Angelina Jolie, but she is dark and sexy, the same age as me, clearly not lacking in the brains department and overall a pretty good role model for women everywhere.
I loved watching their relationship. They got together and it was just combustion. Laura Dern (his former girlfriend) said, "I just came home one day, and my boyfriend was married to someone else." Real life crazy passion, you could see it in their eyes. Not everyone understood them, but there was no denying their heat. Full on "I'll Stop the World and Melt With You" vibe.
But another thing I see in her eyes is that deep, sad, struggling to make sense of it, my-father-dumped-me-but-I-don't-need-his-sorry-ass, I can fix everything, I-am-woman look. Is it enough to be the daughter of a famous actor, and Academy Award winner, UN ambassador, sexy glamazon, wife, adoptive mother, brother-kisser? What is next? Even when she is smiling, she seems to be thinking of something else.
Obviously we don't really know what happened in their relationship, they have been living apart for a month and a half, and her only comments were, "I'm angry. I'm sad. It's a very difficult and sad time." Rumors were that he was kind of weirded out by her whole new motherly role. Maybe cause he doesn't have anyone to baby him now anymore, huh? I respect her saddling up and moving it on out, but hey, it was a good 2 years right, and she probably knows that old dogs don't very often learn new tricks, smart cookie that she is. Why drag it out? If she goes back to him though, my image of her will be both renewed and totally blown at the same time. Does that make sense? The beautful, vibrant angel taking back and forgiving her charming love or the strong-willed mother and role model kicking him to the curb. She is both. We shall see.
Tony Pierce helps Meesh answer the age old question, How to Fix A Man
"the best way that i have been "fixed" in the past
was through cold hard rejection. since men are dogs
we need base, undeniable negative (or in some cases
positive) reinforcement repeatedly until we understand
completely. one slap on the nose with a newspaper
will do nothing. two slaps wont do the trick either.
a good blow with a two-by-four several times a day for
weeks might not even do the trick if the man is strong
willed, as most of us are."
Ok folks, sorry, that doesn't exactly answer the question, now does it. I was thinking, mmmm, more like a gunshot to the head, just might do the trick. But any other suggestions might be helpful. (E-Mail me)
I know, I know, you can't fix a man. And you can't be a therapist, mother, and girlfriend all at once either. That is not what your mother meant by, "You can do everything", although so many women interpret it that way.
Met a lovely woman in West Hollywood last night. Gorgeous, volleyball player, smart, successful, married a boy-in-a-man's body. She did the whole, walking behind him and picking up everything thing for years, and the unfortunate last straw was when she had a baby, and her husband just couldn't stand losing "his" mother, his wife, his therapist, to his child, and ran home to his mommies house leaving her standing holding the baby, her career, and at that point, his career too. She will be ok, the baby will be ok, considering, strong, succesful women most always pull through, no one worries too much about that. And as women (shit, am I generalizing too much?), we will still shake our heads, marvel at the horrible things that men do to us, and not whine, or feel self-pity (poor me), but think, "That poor guy, he is just so pathetic and miserable, no one can help him, how sad". And continue on.....
I don't think these things are too accurate (Ya think?) I thought I was definitely on the sandaled, nature nugget, philosopher path.
Strange that I was a supermodel in my past life, as well as this one. You know what they say, "Once a supermodel, always a supermodel". Actually they don't. They say, "Once a supermodel, now a fat, fucking, pig, whore".