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"You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty." -- Jessica Mitford


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Meesh, Aspen,CO Age:28

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wFriday, September 06, 2002

Tony, did you see this super cute template???

posted by meesh at 2:14 PM


I notice that Friday is the day when people like to screw around the most. Personally I don't really like to stand by while other people are screwing, so I thought I'd join em.

Just recovering from my 5 days in Aspen, went out there for the Aspen Jazz fest, really I was stalking G. Love, but the other performances were worth the trek as well. Got into town lateish on Friday, and went out to Erik's and the Cigar Bar to make our appearances. I had been gone for a while and didn't expect to see many people I knew, just wanted to have a mellow night. Yeah right. Everything was packed. In addition to the JazzFest, there was a volleyball tourney in town, so it was wall to wall bimbos pretty much, not the usual crowd. Heather Graham was there, as was DeNiro (he is really short!). The biggest "who'd a freaking thought I'd see" was actually a guy I went to high school with in Oxnard. I turned the corner and there he was, always a cutie, but managed to finally get that mole off his face removed. Totally random.

Ended up staying there until nearly 3:30, chasing Hennessey's with pineapple juice and riding our bikes home nearly a mile all the way down Cemetery Lane. The show started at 12:30 the next day, but I figured we would get there by 2ish when G. started. We were only a half mile away from the outdoor venue if you cut straight across the golf course, but more like a mile if we took the roads. There was no parking (only VIP) so we thought we'd hoof it or hitchhike.

Woke up a little frantic at 1 in the afternoon and jumped in the steam shower to try to clear our pores of some of the residual chemicals. We started where we left off the night before, a little hair of the dog, and filled our cups to start the hike. We began to walk across the golf course, but there was quite a few people on the course, already glaring at us, so we turned back and started down Cemetery Lane.

We hitchhike all the time there, but a few cars went by and no one picked us up. We were starting to feel the heat from the sun, I was turning into sweaty betty already, when this Landrover who looked pretty full to me pulled over just ahead of us. A Texas accent asked, "Y'all going to the show?" We looked at each other like, "Score!" and ran up to meet them. Their kids climbed in the back and Kitty explained that they were from Dallas, here for the summer. and they had VIP parking passes! Texans rule! The day was turning out might fine.

So the show was at the base of Buttermilk. A low hill on the lift and a steeper one on the right merged into a sort of flat seating area. All the vendors and food were off to the right (the Bunny Hill) and the lift was running to the top of it where there was a huge Captain Morgan tent setup (really, it was halfway up). That was our destination. We took the lift up to the top of the hill, a good move as we would learn, because then we were walking down the hill towards the bar. G. Love started up as soon as we got on the lift and I had a really cool view, kept waving like he could see me, like he might say, "Hey you, girl on the lift!". I was super hyped, all warm inside, the sun shining down, incredible scenery, green everywhere, damn, life is good feeling.

Made Captain and cokes the drink of the day, and walked back down to the stage all double fisted. Couldn't walk 5 feet without stopping to say hello to someone, I was jumping up and down eager to get to the stage. It was about 2:30 (chinese dentist), and the crowd was super mellow, festival style, tons of room up by the stage, blankets spread, pot smoke in the air, yumm. We got about 5 deep up by the stage and I asked this tall guy in front of me if I could switch places. The PIC (partner in crime) and I danced till our cups went empty and then this guy with a bar in his backpack filled them up again so we didn't have to go anywhere. The show was great! and towards the end G. brought out the guys from the Dirty Dozen Brass Band and they jammed out something fierce on the horns.

G. was done and we were just getting hyped, made our way over to the booths while Keb Mo began to setup. This one booth had the huge ass dumplings I could smell from soo far away, so I got a big plate of those. I have never seen them so big and meaty, I mean they were like two in one, yum, with the chili soy. Hit the spot. The PIC bought me a gorgeous twisted silver necklace with turquoise and black pearls, happy happy. We talked story for quite a bit with some of the vendors he knew, and then ambled up the hill towards the tent to grab a couple drinks and chill on the hill and wait for Macy Gray to start. We found a perfect place up on the hill a bit away from most the people and kids, where all the other adults were partaking in their illicit habits. Got invited to some parties after the show including this one guy's who had his million dollar motor home parked in the lodge parking lot next door.

We stayed up there when Macy started, a perfect view of what was now a huge crowd. Jakob Dylan was playing with her, and I borrowed this kids binos to get a nice close up of him. The crowd was waving their arms back and forth, HipHop Hooray style, and I could feel the love in the air. When she played Sexomatic everyone around us was dancing like crazy. She talked about how her Dad had just died only 2 days ago! and her performance really reflected her emotion for sure. The sun started setting towards the end, and the sky was lit up behind the stage with crazy ass fire ribbons mingling with the blue. To the right of us, towards Ajax mountain black clouds were moving in a bit, and the moisture in the air produced the biggest rainbow I had ever seen. All this and we hadn't even dropped!

The PIC and I had a moment during Sweet Baby and the world could have stopped all around us. Saw Mr. and Mrs. Texas as they were leaving and they gave us their VIP passes! so we headed over to the VIP bar for some gratis refreshments. What a nice way to end the day. Cut off before her last song to miss the crowd, but didn't get very far. Some friends were kicking it in the parking lot like it was a tailgate party, and we went over to the big motorhome to say whatup and maybe have a cocktail. There were big jugs of vodka punch setup outside, everyone was super cool and sharing their party favors. We stayed there an hour or so until some really drunk girls starting gazing a little too deeply into my eyes and I really wasn't feeling it. Had a time hitching back to the house though, it was dark and all the people around us weren't helping our cause. Caught the bus down to Cemetery Lane and then stopped this car for a ride the rest the way down the street. I think he thought the PIC was going to carjack him the way he stepped out of the dark in front of him. Kind of funny.

Went back out into town that night, I was hanging in pretty good considering we had a dozen or more drinks in the sun all day, but stuck to just straight pineapple juice. The whole weekend was just good vibes. Went for a bike ride up Red mountain the next day and then went to Mezzaluna for happy hour. Met this great lady Stasia who hired me to work in her shop this winter. Nice, I am on that, Kaelin is the coolest pro shop in town. Invited a bunch of people back to the house to listen to Bob Dylan from the backyard. We lounged, jumped on the tramp, and smiled that we could hear Bob so well.

That night we went to Takah sushi and stuffed ourselves on their prime rib rolls and asparagus/scallop pokes. Yummmm. Went to Erik's for a bit, but the vball crowd was a little belligerent so we called it a night. Went to the tourney the next day and it was nice to sit out and chill, sand vball court in front of us, right up against the green mountain. Another life is good moment.

So that was it really. Except for the nearly not coming home at all part. I keep telling myself, less than 2 months, and I will be there again. ah well, it is good to have something to look forward to. And right now, the surf is pumping so it takes my mind off the the mountain for a while. Damn it is sooo beautiful there in the summer! and the trees are even starting to change color! Crazy beautiful! So if you get a chance, get there. It is mid-seventies to eighties. changing of the seasons, ahhhh. Or see ya in the winter!!!

posted by meesh at 11:39 AM


Little Red Riding Hood:

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind
a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red,
I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little
Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a 44 magnum, pointed it at him and
said, "No you're not!
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the

posted by meesh at 10:19 AM

wThursday, September 05, 2002

Just found my crumpled blue cashmere v-neck in the corner of my office and put it on. Brrr. it's cold. The door was wide open and i went to go close it and could smell the rain. Shoulda known it was coming this way when Doc Searls said that he saw some thunder up north of here. I dig it, though, not to mention that we need it terribly.

Hazardous weather Outlook
National Weather Service los angeles/oxnard ca
1100 AM PDT Thu Sep 5 2002

...Remnants of Hernan will bring clouds and showers to southern and
Central California today through Friday...
...A high Surf advisory remains in effect through Friday for the
beaches of Ventura and Los Angeles counties...
Widespread Surf of 5 to 8 feet will affect exposed South and
Southwest facing beaches of Los Angeles and Ventura counties
through Friday...With occasional maximum sets of up to 12 feet.

see, I really don't read the news much. Well I read it, but I don't really process it. It adds to the confusion, plus you don't really know if you are getting the real scoop, or someones filtered info. Blog news I can deal with, cause it is obviously someones opinion.
Like today, I was reading some crap in the paper about how Bush is going to rally for support to go and get Saddam.

(insert long rambling political spiel here)

yeah, what he said

posted by meesh at 2:15 PM


Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

----from Evan Ames' LiveJournal

posted by meesh at 11:20 AM


If you're the kind of person who loves to watch movies that others deem sucky, then these movies are for you because they S-U-C-K, suck, Suck.

Fast Sofa - based (supposedly) on the best selling novel, I really wanted to like it, because it has Natasha Lyonne (seen at Star Shooz last weekend) and Jeniffer Tilly in it. But Jake Busey is in it also, need I say more. Ok, I will. The opening scenes make it out to be a low budget porn movie, but hey I can dig that. It has that car crash attraction though. You don't think it could possibly get worse, but it does. I lasted about 12 minutes.

You are Here
- again, really wanted to like it, but it is like Office Space, only not funny, and with really bad acting. It is super indie/student film stylee, so I appreciated the genre of it at least. You can read the screenplay on their website, which probably doesn't really suck as much as the movie does.

posted by meesh at 10:24 AM

wWednesday, September 04, 2002

Love the 100, John Duke Hohman, I love that he's a Ho man, rough sex and geeky asian girls? are you trying to flatter me?

posted by meesh at 11:54 PM


After a long weekend, it is sort of a process to reacclimate myself to my "normal" life. Although these days I can't really tell regular from normal to real to surreal or actual, desirable, considerable, possible.

So many times I think I have a grip on reality, when all I am really doing is holding myself away a cautious enough distance away from knowing, so that I can high tail it (I like that expression) and run away at the first sign of a struggle. Even as I write about it, I use you instead of I, and have to go back and change it. Whoa, psychology. Wanting to believe it is everyone and not just me, certainly it is everyone, but realizations can become generalizations way too quickly.

So many known "truths" have shown to be lucent, while pipe dreams (not those kind) and ever after illusions have seem more plausible. My devil's advocate is working overtime and forcing me to challenge every little perception. Want to disbelieve everything just to spite myself. . Well.... what if... why not......

I can't really explain it, but I feel like it is almost like learning another language. Like first, you just learn words, and you don't really KNOW their meanings, you just associate them with other things.Love is flowers, and weddings, and poetry. And friendship is laughter, sleepovers, and secret santas. Eventually you start to doubt where and how these things truly exist. Ok, I sometimes wondered. What it means to love and be a friend.

Then you learn phrases. Putting associations together to define your reality. I Love Thai food, animals, vulnerability, and my family. Friendship is someone who doesn't let you down, who doesn't think you are a total geek, who laughs really hard with you and who really does get it when you go.."You know?" Yeah, I totally do.

And then sometimes, well people use the same words for different things. And what I thought was unconditional love and what he though it was, were two different things. Ok.. so you listen to the way other people interpret the words and try to figure it out when it means the same thing you think it does, and if you really know what you think you know, and if what you think you know is really right and just uncommon, elitist, or nth percentile (and everyone else is clueless, and will there ever be someone out there who sees it the same way that you do).

Then you attempt to speak, slow at first, sending out your signal, somewhat boldly, so people can hear, sure enough to know that you know at least a thing or two for sure (say that 3 times fast). Meet some Libras that give you their knowing Libra glances, we all know something so that means something. That the sure thing you think you know is that instinct and destiny and a soul does exist. You can count on that if you fall short of words. Having gotten used to speaking so many languages, you (see I am using you again), wonder if other people speak more than one, too, and even a few you had never heard at all before. I sometimes just fall silent and listen, nod my head, tired of listening, and deciding, and just wonder it all, and try to combine the instinct with what is "known", and try to make it so they are the same thing. As if that will work. That is a Libra thing, wanting so much to believe both, that you find a way to make it true, on some level, even if briefly.

the letters, the combination of sounds. in your mind, or on the screen, they are still the same words. and they mean something to someone, and they mean nothing to everyone else. It is only when you pass them back and forth and un-der-stand that it makes them real. To agree, to relate, to commun-icate.

Say your own, read others, and then write them too, so as you don't forget, and go back and read them sometimes, recite them, share the ones you weren't sure of before, the ones you've just now learned the meaning of, chances are someone else doesn't. But don't talk too much (it might not always come out right), or read others' words too much (you'll forget they're not your own, and that their words are affirming mostly what they think, and not what you do), or write too boldly, lest you not want to go back and reread, or just do it and then tell yourself you should have known better. It is ok. You can and will change your mind. and hopefully change others' too. Strive to meet those kinds of people who can constantly amaze you with their grasp of words. Where there are words, at least somewhere in it there is truth. Many in fact.

I guess what I am trying to see, lest my words fail to convey their meaning (to others, as they certainly do for me, yet I did always think people could read my mind, and my lips, thought they just weren't tapping in to that 6th sense, or third eye, where was I..), is that I won't just listen anymore. I am ready again to feel, and decide, and try, and be afraid sometimes. Over thinking that no one will understand, or I am super silly, and smoking too much dope, and writing too much that Blogger will let me post, and going to lose all the words I have so artfully written, simply written at all is fullfilling.

So anyway, heya you, heya Meesh, the little spelling queen, the hopeless romantic, the Franklin planner toting daydreamer. I am back, in a lot more ways than before, and as Martha would say, it really is a good thing.

posted by meesh at 11:50 PM


Stony links

M. C. Escher - you know how you would look at the pictures and try to look sideways at them and see around the 2-dimensionality of it, well the animation on Virtual Ride takes you around some of his more trippy works, ascending and descending for one. They need to show this shit in IMAX. check it.

Fubbs.net - cool Flash site, some of it moves slow, but some parts are whoa.

kinda of a what's better - Who would kick who's ass


Egay - it's only a matter of time

gotta love those Mac ads - I'm all all up on the spoofs

Kitties - doing Fell in Love with a girl, ahhh, cuteness factor

Swearl - my dad, he knows how to say I Love You in ten different languages, now I know how to say snatch in 15.

Mauki - in case you miss your cat at work, this one is really cute, I wish it would attack your hand like mine does though

Flatter yourself - ever just want someone to just say something nice, aaah I needed that

Before and After - It's weird, but real. I like it

Action comics 1st comic - read it, yes, it's Superman, 1938, sweet

Cool photos - and animations, dig the polar bear on the whale for some reason

Three Way Action - like Metafilter, but cool(er), why isn't it ok to like Plastic?


ReproDepot - killer vintagey, hawaiian, mod fabrics, makes me want to sew. neato gift stuff, clothes, all kine stuff

We Love Fine - girly geek stuff, supercute screensaver for Mac

Be as Horny as a Guy - ummm, ok sounds good

Sublime Stitching - I want to stitch! a little tiki hanky for me, super crafty
ok, that's all, freak out

posted by meesh at 11:48 PM


Any ideas for the top of this blog. This looks way too fucking boring without anything. But thanks so much, really whoever did it. Now what should I put?

posted by meesh at 11:39 PM


What is with these new tag boards I see every where. Is it a diaryland thing? Anyway, they are really cute I want one. Speaking of really cute, check out this other meesh's website. She has somewhat of an obsession with Homer Simpson, but her site is really well done, and she digs baseball, if that somehow validates it for you at all, and I dig the name: tripped on reality, true that. I wonder how old she is, she has that new, fresh, super cute girl smell. I like to read those happy happy joy joy blogs sometimes. In that innocent and adorable way, not the you remind me of myself, when I was young and stupid way. Just poetry and baking cookies.

posted by meesh at 11:23 PM


Kum & Go Mini-Mart


Hey, are you sleeping?

Yes, I wish you were here in bed with me still.

Where are you?

At the airport.

Your flight left 20 minutes ago.

Yeah I got bumped.

Bumped? I thought it was empty.

Yeah well, I was 5 minutes past check-in.

Bitch wouldn't let me go standby at the gate.

And then she said I couldn't standby for 1st class anyway.

No! why not?

Wearing flipflops.

and the next flight isn't for another hour and a half..

I don't want to go....

Just say the word and I'll come and get you.

I HAVE to go to work,

Fuck, I am sooo tired, I just want to curl up on the floor

I can't sleep in those little seats. Arrrgh....

Just don't go, stay, come on I'll come get you right now.

.....and now I am on standby for the next flight.

Don't even know if I'll get on that one.

I'm coming to get you.

I can't stay!

Your not going to make it to work, you are feeling verrrry sleepy.

Sleep. yeah oooookay, bed..mmm nice

but I have to check my e-mail later.

posted by meesh at 10:46 AM