I have a question I was hoping you could give me some tips on.
I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend,
but she seems pretty opposed to the idea.
How can I approach her on the issue without her getting all freaked out?
I did it once before and it was amazing!
Well how exactly did you approach her? Stick it in, and say "Oops, wrong hole!" ? I am by no means an expert on the subject (I did do it "successfully" once, and it was really an entirely different, but extremely satisfying experience, I was blown away), but I have enjoyed a little finger penetration here and there), so I did a little consulting. I wanted to know what it felt like for a guy, and why are they so gung ho for it. I asked someone (who wishes to remain nameless, let's call him Deep Butt, his name, not mine) who says he likes it because it's "naughty", what it feels like:
The first inch or so is like a really tight pussy, but then you pop into a big empty space. So it's a cool combination of tight and nothingness. A pussy is like a tight fitting glove. It touches you everywhere when you're in it. An ass is kind of like getting a handjob with a thumb and 2 fingers instead of the whole hand.
I’ve always been experimental in bed. Open for stuff. (ha ha)
Anal sex being one of the “stuffs”.
But it was usually with much coaxing and probably a bit of alcohol.
It wasn’t that spectacular…for me. For him, yes.
For some reason, this past year, anal sex has been no problem for me.
Not uncomfortable, not difficult to perform, and in fact, enjoyable.
Especially enjoyable when paired with vaginal penetration at the same time.
Does that make me a slut?
If I’m doing it with my husband of 13 years, I don’t think I can
be classified as a slut. A dirty sex-freak maybe, but not really a slut.
I bring this up as an interesting observation that I’ve been
discovering about myself. Why now? Why at 34?
Am I a more relaxed person? I think not.
Do asses get looser with age? I don’t know.
Thanks girl, I think maybe we just get more comfortable with our bodies as we get older. I heard someone say once, that "Hey, we've been taking shits our whole lives, and I've had some big dookies come out, and they didn't hurt."
So on to Ben, well first of all Ben, this would be one of those things you might want to actually discuss with her first (you know conversation). Let her know this is something you want to try with her, that it can be very satisfying for the both of you. Maybe even let her know that she can try it on you (guys go nuts when you penetrate them right before orgasm), and then that way you'll know what it feels like for her (maybe not a strap-on, although Deep Butt likes it, but just the digits), and that way you know how to take proper care when poking her butt. (sorry, i have to be silly)
The first thing I would try, is to sample a little finger anal penetration while you are going down on her. Just so she relaxes and gets used to what it feels like (Obviously, you want to first make sure your nails are nice and trimmed down and smooth). A finger while climaxing can be an extremely pleasant experience. Make sure also, your finger is lubed up thoroughly with her juices, BUT.... this is very important ..DO NOT DOUBLE DIP. and you know what I mean. Do not stick your finger in her ass, and then her pussy, BAD things can happen, unless you want to smell tuna for the next couple weeks, you'll do as I say.
And then, as Trinity suggested, maybe some double penetration using a dildo or vibrator on low. Again, make sure it is nice and lubed up, Astroglide works better than KY (using a condom with it will make it easier to clean up, some vibes have a nice silicone penis-like sleeve you can cover them with), and insert verrry slowly. You might just want to hold it near the opening and have her control how much she wants in at a time.
Next, I would try penetrating her a little while she is using a vibrator on her clitoris, that way she is getting the direct stimulation she needs to relax her, and be able to enjoy you working your way in. Again, a condom is a good idea here, too, to protect your urinary tract from possible infection, and the Astro as well. She will let you know when you can go deeper. DO NOT force it. Even if you never get it in very far, all the receptive zones are near the opening anyway, and she will probably get more used to it, if you are not pounding her from behind.
When this becomes comfortable and you want to try it full on, I would say, a lot of foreplay should precede. My sources say it is good to have her lean over an ottoman or something so she is not supporting herself on all fours. Reach around and fiddle the bean while you are getting started. Let her insert it herself, so you don't hit and miss. Maybe she'll want to keep the vibe in hand also. You'll just have to go with the flow, and STOP if she tells you, too. It might take some time till you guys are going at it like porn stars, but the results could be intensely erotic and pleasurable.
Personally, this is something I could only attempt with someone I trusted very much. That was a big part of learning to relax and sense each other's comfort zone. So keep that in mind, make sure you communicate throughout the act, and hope it's bootylicious!
Yawn... mmmm. tired, thank god it's Friday, would it be bad, to fake cramps and take the afternoon off?
What is wrong with that Grace? How can she resist the Harry Connick (characters) charm? Is it just me, or has he gotten way better looking with age? more manly, less fruity. mmmmmmm. Love that line.
"Sex is a drug. And I'm a licensed dealer". good stuff. It should be called Jack and Karen, think they'll spin off?
Oh, and if anyone sent me an e-amil yesterday, it probably bounced. So send it again? All those sexy pics Kevin has been sending me. And let me tell you, large is an understatement!
Oh, and TP posted! Guy can't rest his wrists for a week. Sure we'll get some hot island tales when he get's back. Miss you! Bring presents!
later today: Sugar Daddies and Anal Sex (no, not together)
Chuck (Mr. Know it All) and I did some fun photo stuff last night. The guy has mad talent. I saw some pics he took of his friends wedding. Bea-u-ti-ful. So if anyone in the LA area needs a wonderfully artistic photographer, get a hold of Chuck, he is in the process of building his book (and plus he is doing that career change thing, so support his art). check out some of his other pics here , here, and here.
What's your take on dating a man who's shorter than you?
Does height factor into sexiness?
Or is "tall, dark and handsome" just a myth?
For the record, I'm 5'8", just a hair below average.
But I'm newly single and bound to start dating one of
these days, so I'm trying to get an idea of what it's
like "out there." Shoes these days being what they
are, I keep seeing absolutely stunning women who would
quite literally be looking down on me if I approached
them. Does that even matter?
p.s. That's a hell of a picture. Not many people can
pull off that sexy/goofy thing, but you managed it
Well Mike, as I like to say, We are all the same height lying down! Personally speaking, I have certainly been attracted to guys that are shorter than me. My God, this drummer Robin I dated just knocked my socks off in bed (he was 5'7). AND, I was in my 4" platform boot stage! I am 5'10, a hair taller than the average male. Damn if I am going to discount half the male population because of it!
Like I was talking about a few posts ago, attraction and what is sexy comes from the inside, it might take many a failed relationship to discover that, so just believe me, okay?! Confidence, sense of humor, and how you feel about yourself is what matters most in sexiness. Robin was incredibly charming, confident, and also very persistent! (Ok, so he was a successful and talented musician, sooo cute, and he wore braces, can you believe it!?) Nothing turns a woman off more than a guy who is a pathetic, insecure, and unhappy whiner.
But while I have been sexually attracted to shorter men, in deciding on long-term relationships, the man as the bigger/stronger/provider survival thing factors in.
I have a bit of a thing about being a "big" girl (I am like an 8, okay a big 8). (I know that sounds ridiculous, and I kill myself when I say it even, but being a model and pageant girl and stuff, I have that body dysmorphic thing going on, plus my parents and bfriends were/are always telling me I am/was getting fat, and yadda yadda I know, I feel great now). So, I feel a little biggish with a shorter guy, and they seem to have issues themselves with me wearing their clothes and stuff. It does seem a bit weird if my lips meet the top of his head, instead of his chest or at the minimum meet up with his lips. I am afraid I might try to pick him up or something stupid like that!
So basically, no worries, sex with taller women is certainly in the realm of possibility, but for long-term type deals, you'll have to weigh that out when the time comes. If she's what you want don't ever let anything keep you from it. What is that they say? Oh, love is blind.
"Seek moderation in all things" is usually a sound principle, but in the coming weeks it won't be for you Libras. You'll have a cosmic mandate to replace it with "More is always better" or "Only too much is enough." It'll be your sacred duty to pursue extravagance that might be self-indulgent at any other time. I'll even go so far as to say that it will be a sin for you not to stir up as many fun exploits and joyous liberations as possible. That's why I suggest that you tell four different people four different dates for the anniversary of your coming into the world -- say September 28, October 4, October 11, and October 18. Then throw yourself a birthday party on each of those days. -----from Free Will Astrology
Yes it's my birthday, the big 2-7. (October 3rd) I know, I know, how can I shower you with gifts meesh? In lieu of gifts, please instead send donations to my dentist Dr. Fuji in Oxnard, have to keep these choppers in shape. I promise not to be bulimic ever again.
I tried to create a wishlist, but the only thing I wanted from Amazon was the citrus zester (for the mojitos). Although I wouldn't be opposed to some Vicky's G.C.'s or something like that. Cash? Well this girl has pretty much everything she will ever need, and everything else, well that's what sugar daddies are for. So go join the ACLU with your dough.
Ok well there is one thing that would create overwhelming and boundless joy through and through. I am a collector, Snowglobes. and Floaty Pens. and Marionettes. You know, cheesy tourist trinkets, labeled with the destination. If you would be compelled to gift me, that's the ticket.
So other than that, who wants to celebrate with me. Say, oh, Barefoot, next Saturday?
Well I was almost getting used to TV sucking, spending the hours between 8 and 10 at the gym, maybe doing some of that reading stuff. Ok, so I did watch one episode of the Bachelor this year, but besides that, nada. I actually watched a Survivor episode this week! and I liked it! And now season premieres! Hot damn, I am hooked.
So I was a Buffy fan before it was cool, ok, but in the last couple years, I felt like a twit admitting it (but claim it, I did). And last season? Come on! the only redeeming episode was the musical. That was pure genius. After tonights premiere I am thoroughly convinced that the newly revamped (ha, get it?!?!) Buffy will be able satisfy that prime time fix I thought had subsided.
I like that the show hasn't gone the 90210 route. You know, where everyone still sleeps with each other, only now they go to the same college instead. Ok, so Buff and Zander seemed to be hanging at the high school quite a bit (and hello! it's CSUN), but at least there are new kiddies around , and they are not all running around together holding hands.
I think one of the reasons I remain a fan is Buffy's mad style. She always looks so darn cute! So I have to put in my 2 fashion cents on this one. Was it just me, or did you notice how she was wearing those sexy heeled boots, and then when she started busting out with the gymnastics and kicking ass, she wasn't wearing them anymore? And Dawn, what's with the turtleneck sweater? I don't know exactly where Sunnydale is (in Cal, yes), but there isn't anywhere in Cal in September under 80 degrees, as all your classmates in tank tops would agree. I am sure they will start tarting her up pretty soon. And Spike, oh sexy, schizo Spike (what happened to him anyway? I missed that), you were yummy before, but now that you got rid of that gay helmet head, you are mmmm mmmm good, makes me almost forget about Angel (I said almost).
And where are Willow and Giles exactly? at some witches rehab coven? Did you know they are really hooked up in "real" life? huh, didja? (wait it's the other brit, Wesley, from Angel, whatever)
So glad Xander and the demon are done with, I am already liking her character so much more.
The principal - good guy or bad guy?? Oooh...
and the talisman? Wouldn't you, oh, I don't know, like hide it somewhere, not just leave it sitting on the bathroom counter, just a thought.
And what?? is the show sponsored by Verizon now or something? How's that, when she goes, "Isn't this great reception down here?" Yeah right, more like, "Can you hear me now? How about now?"
Well that's all my Buffy commentary, and how is that new show on after it, Haunted? Is it really going to be on at the same time as Smallville every week? Ugggh.
Oh Smallville, I missed you. If any of you guys haven't seen Smallville before, don't let this season pass you by (ok, so maybe I should have told you before the premiere). Smallville is the story of Superman before he became "Superman". Guys, you will definitely fulfill all your barely legal fantasies in Lana Lang/Kristin Kreuk, she is quite the hottie (she's a hapa, half-chinese, half Dutch). And Clark Kent, , I don't know about you, ladies, but he seems to be a cast member in some of my more scintillating wet dreams. Tom Welling is starting to look more and more like Superman now, the boy has pecs! But good god, get him some hair gel, what's with the bangs? and Lex! all sexy with his bald head!
I also like that besides their killer theme song by Remy Zero, they always have some cool indie rock tracks.
Other reasons you should watch Smallville this season:
Lana's boyfriend is out of the picture, that means possibly some action (finally!) between Lana and Clark, plus there is the tension between Clark and mini-reporter Chloe (ah, she is so bummed!), after he dissed her at the prom/dance thing to go and save Lana (yes! the boy get's the brunette!)
This seems to be the beginning of the Lex Luthor/Clark Kent conflict. I am dying to know what finally pushes Lex over to the dark side. I though he would let his father die (he is such an ass) and then assume his evil role, but he saved him. Hmmm...
He flew! I kind of forgot about the whole flying part. I guess I thought maybe it was the cape that made him fly or something.
So watch Smallville, because Superman, well.... come on it's Superman, what a concept.
Commercials I dug while scopin' the tube tonight:
Love that Gap stretch spot with the smokin' Shalom Harlow, I always liked her, tres unique looking.
The Siegfried and Roy Sprint commercial. Man I love those white kitties. "Got any Gummie Bears?"
New Harry Potter movie!!! Wooohooo! Countdown: 51 Days.....
So the secret is out, I read Vodkapundit. Damn, anyone that looks like that, don't have to twist my arm, I'll drink up what you're serving. (and oh yes, he's a genius, god amongst pundits, all that.. blah blah). And in honor of being served up at the lounge, the beverages are on me!
These three recipes are sure to get his or her undies off (ooh, is that bad? Coercion or something? with their predetermined consent I meant). I didn't create these drinks, but I do champion them!
First (an easy one, but impressive none the less):
White Star and Orangina mix equalish parts
So, okay, you could just make it with some cheap Brut and orange soda, but we're going for the impressive part remember? Only the best, baby, only the best.
Next, we have Mojitos. I first had mojitos in Germany one hot summer. This dope frauline served me up at this lounge one night. "You must try mojito, so refreshing, yes". She wanted me, I could tell. I though she was trying to dose me or something, I am always wary when people bring me drinks, plus she kept going this one is yours, and I kept switching our glasses. But they were uber refreshing, and it became my ultimate summer cocktail from then on.
Juice of 3 or 4 limes (don't just squeeze them, you lazy little..)
fresh mint (a big bunch)
sugar (I don't do the white stuff, organic or raw)
gin (Bombay Sapphire, only the best remember)
some tonic and/or splash of Sprite
Now you can just tear the mint into pieces, but I like to actually crush it into the sugar a bit with a pestle type object. Fill a glass with crushed ice, add a good dose of gin (like 3/4 full), a couple big spoons of the sugar/mint mixture, a good swill of the lime juice, then a splash of tonic/sprite. Play with it a little, maybe more sugar, more sprite for you wussy types. Ahhh, refreshing.
Last, we have Watermelon mojitos. Talk about going down easy.
A Watermelon (duh)
the Sapphire (maybe you just keep a few bottles in the liquor cabinet)
Blend up chunks of your watermelon (yeah, you want the seedless one). And then strain the liquid through a wire sieve (the one you use to dust your cocaine will be fine). Tap tap, so the fibrous element is trapped. Toss that part. I put my juice in a ice tea dispenser deal, for easy access. Fill a tall glass with crushed ice and add the gin (maybe half or so), a couple spoons of sugar, little splash of lime, and then the yummy pinkness. Stir. I like to garnish with a bit of mint. Presentation is everything.
There you go, knock yourselves out. I am sure you will.
Oh yes, it is true, I have been admiring you from afar, and have only recently declared to the world my affections. Let me say it loud and clear, Taiwan-on is the manifestation of all that is sexy, wonderfully deviant, and estrogenetically (I just made that up! I think) shocking in blogdom (a new fucking word please). If I was a witchy woman, I would drink your blood. Welcome, have some cupcakes.
Age-old question, sure. Although there are a number of directions to approach this query from: looks, smell (yes), touch, and feel, all of these things amount to a biological or animal aspect to attraction. It is not so much what is in your head that tells you what you want, but in a thing called libido.
Freud originated the thought of a libido, which connected our sexual drive to a physiological and emotional energy. Of course, he didn't limit this concept to sex, but extended it to include imagination, perception, memory, and all types of instinctual energies present within us. When discovering, What is Sexy, understanding that our urges incorporate all these aspects can help to explain why it doesn't just take a hot looking guy or girl to make us want to tap some of that.
For me, it takes someone who engages that imagination, who makes me feel and discover something entirely new about myself. Usually it is discovering that I have the capacity to care about someone else, decreasing the level of narcissism that we are inherently born with, while symbolically indulging it. I guess it is just someone who complements where I am in the voyage of discovery and allows me to steer them a few new ways.
I find laughter to be instinctual and sexy. I am a silly, silly girl. I need someone to be my playmate. Some people say they lose their concentration or get the giggles when play and laughter are introduced into the act of sex. But orgasms preceded by silly spasms, for me, provide double the release. You know, like when you are laughing so hard, and then you get that big sigh when you are done, like, "No, no, Stop!"
If I am people watching, the guy that is throwing his head back in laughter, with no thought to anyone around him expressing his uncontrollable, abandonless joy, now that is sexy. I imagine he's an animal in bed. He let's out exactly what he is feeling, and will let me do the same. I knew things with my ex-ex-boyfriend and I would not work out, when he would cover my mouth as I got a little too playful in bed (he was repressed).
Besides laughter, the other things I found sexy amounted to nurturing. Nurturing is usually seen to be a female quality, but I maybe that is why it is so attractive when a man expresses it. There was this one thing my old flame would do that still gives me a tickle in my stomach (thought by the Chinese to be the center of your energies). He would always make sure my feet were warm. Lying on the couch, he would make sure to tuck a blanket around my feet so they were cocooned in. In bed, he would let me put my ice cold feet on his warm ones, even though it must have been torture. When he left in the winter to go to his cabin, what did he gift me with? Slippers. Those are the thoughts that stay with you.
My mom would always say, it's in the eyes. You just know that someone trusts you, believes you, gets you, by how they look at you.or how they don't look at you. When you open yourself up to tell the truth in your eyes, that to me is sexy. Some call it vulnerability. To me it means trust. Sharing yourself sexually, without repression has to involve trust. Many times when you ask people, what is the sexiest body part, you hear eyes. (Ok, so usually it's the woman saying it about a man, according to this, men say breasts, but when you ask guys what THEIR sexiest body part is, they say eyes) Windows to the soul? I think so. Ok so this kind of relates. I was going out one early evening, dressed to the nines, wearing dark-tinted Dior glasses, some short black number, heeled boots, perfumed, jeweled and powdered, I walk into the liquor store to grab some cigarettes, and the guy behind the counter, at first a bit lost for words (I know, a common trait), he says to me, "Can I see you eyes?" I take off my glasses, he smiles, and says thank you. I was happy to oblige.
So did I answer the question? Kind of I guess. I was really looking for a question to go with my answer.
how sad, this guy lived to be 91, and does he die from cancer? his ticker? suicide bomber? No, from eating detergent thought to be hummus. I don't know, I mean have you ever seen detergent that looked like hummus? hmmm...