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Meesh, Aspen,CO Age:28

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wTuesday, October 29, 2002

If you parked a bus in the jungle with the keys in the ignition,
how long would it take before a bunch of monkeys would drive it away?
Curious George

OK, I think the monkeys would have a chance. However, if the key-chain had other keys on it- especially shiny one's, they would probably be taken out and held as rare fortune and end up with the Ferengi Monkey Clan. If the key was alone in the ignition, monkeys would at first overlook it, so it might be a matter of days before a monkey would figure to turn the key. Now by this time the bus would be in gear, and there would be monkey feces on the driver's seat. Ummm... the battery would be dead as would the lights, windshield wipers and radio, so the answer is no...the monkeys wouldn't get far. The white trash monkey tribe would then park the sucker out and use it as a shooting target in preparation for the coming of the Primate Revolution "Death to the Big-Brained ruling Regime!"

(ok, not from the mailbag, from the kiltboys)

posted by meesh at 4:01 PM


One from today's mailbag:


Long time reader, first time writer.
I'm a single male heterosexual, but I really enjoy wearing panties, stockings/pantyhose and spike heels.
I also shave my legs.
I'm strongly heterosexual, but this fetish of mine is definitely out there.
I've found a few women who are into it (an ex started me down this road),
but most aren't. Any suggestions or comments?

Spike and Nylon Lover

Well Spike, I would recommend Calvin Klein Pantyhose, the tend to run the least. For panties I really like Agent Provocateur. Spike Heels? Well I haven't worn heels since the Miss "I want to be a celebrity ex-wife" pageant, I am more of a thongs girl now (flip flops that is).

Don't feel weird about your fetish, and it's not "out there" as you might deem. I have met plenty a hetero who liked to play dress-up. I like to dress up in men's clothes, does that make me weird? Women in boxers=sexy, men in panties=ewww. Can you say hypocrite?

This one time, at Rodman's place in Newport, my 2 girlfriends and I met the hottest set of brother's I have ever laid eyes on. She wanted to bring one home with her, so I drove the other brother's '62 Oldsmobile Cutlass Starfire convertible down PCH back to my place in Sunset. Sweet ride.

By time we got there, she and the brother had completely switched outfits in the backseat. He was wearing (my clothes actually)a Versace silk skirt, white with green scarf print, and a green backless sequin halter top. He looked smashing in it, too, I might add. He enjoyed how he looked so much that he let my roommate and I put my purple wig on him and make up his face. He made a hot looking woman. Finally I just had to be like, hey, you need to take my clothes off now (the ones he was wearing, sillies), and then he and my girlfriend made out until dawn.

I saw him a couple times after that, and I said (because I didn't really recognize him too much), "Were you..? Did I ...? dress up...girl..wig. Yeah that was you." He made no apologies, just said yeah that was me, that was fun. Not even a blush. I found his confidence to be pretty sexy.

I don't know if maybe it was the attention of having 3 girls strip him and make him up, but he truly seemed to enjoy it. As evidenced on the busblog, most guys don't really mind playing dress-up. Heck, I would have loved to seen Tony in my halter neck Dolce. Maybe once you find another girl who shares this playful side of you, you will truly find happiness in a relationship. Being honest about your perversions is so much better than hiding them. I mean, what's the big deal anyway?

Why does there have to be this stringent line between what is masculine and feminine? I find the in-between area to be incredibly refreshing. I honestly find a man in a kilt or a sarong to be the hottest thing ever. Men in spike heels, well I don't even like women in spike heels, so to each his own. It's all about the attitude, if you feel good being the person that you are, then people will pick up on that. If there is some deviant reason behind this fetish, then you might want to explore that as well. It is only by understanding ourselves that we are finally free to be the people we are, and in finding someone who loves and appreciates all sides of you.

Hope this helps,

posted by meesh at 3:33 PM

wMonday, October 28, 2002

Elaborate, huh.
Do I really want to get in to detail about the riff raff I hang out with?
Ballers, arms traders, jet-setting gangsters, some jewish doctors and lawyers thrown in for good measure.
It's a tough life people, but someone has to live it.

Lessons to be learned here: If you are going to set off mexican rockets in the desert, make sure you actually go OUT in to the desert, and not shoot them off right near ther freeway.
Make sure you know the people you are with well enough to know that they could hold up the whole damn town with all the explosives they had.
When the cops asks you if you partook that evening, deny everything.
Sarcasm and sherrif's: Don't mix.
Flirting to get out of a citation does not work when you are piss drunk.
When the cops are questioning you, maybe you just leave that drink alone.
There is no Good cop/Bad cop, there is ONLY Bad dickhead cops, do not be fooled.
Don't run.
Always have an alibi worked out in advance.
Work on that innocent routine of yours.

This one sets me back a bit. I feel like I'm in high school again. Damn it all to hell.

posted by meesh at 2:43 PM


Good gracious people, I just can't win. Can't make it out of this state without some last bout of trouble.

My desert caravan turned into an all-inclusive stay at the inn with no windows, just concrete floors and a 3 x 1 bench for comfort.

In case you are ever out the Morongo way, just remember: They don't serve vegan there.

Fook me, yes, fook me.

posted by meesh at 10:00 AM